Monogamy is a relatively new concept as far as human behaviour goes. Like herds of wild animals that have alpha males who impregnate many of their herd, humans used to pretty much be the same. Women were naturally attracted to those men who were physically fit, could hunt well and were…well, well hung. It was and still is to some extent, human nature or animal instinct for women to still be attracted to these traits and for men to feel the need the “spread their seed” as it were, as far and as wide as they possibly can.
So what made us change? Or have we changed at all? Even now, multiple marriages, or polygamy is a recognised, accepted and legal part of life in many countries in Africa, the Middle east and Southern Asia. In countries such as the UK and Australia, multiple marriages performed abroad are accepted once that couple(s) return home. But for the most part, having more than one marriage on the go at any one time is, in most Western countries considered not only to be illegal, but to be morally wrong and socially unacceptable.
Why should it be though? Divorce rates are increasing almost year on year and the often the reason for this is because of infidelity. Couples who aren’t necessarily married also break up a lot of the time for similar reasons and the internet is only making it easier to do. Should we just cave in and accept that monogamy is overrated and outdated? Is it unnatural?
The internet makes infidelity affordable, accessible and anonymous. People can use their laptop, home computers or mobiles to cheat on their partner. They don’t have to go out for hours on the pull, they can flirt for hours, days, weeks or months with someone, arrange to meet up, and be over with it in a mere few hours (hours is maybe being a bit optimistic for most of you…)
In a society where, largely speaking, people of different religions, races, sexualities are all accepted, I think that we should learn to embrace the fact that monogamy isn’t for everyone. If you are in the position of being able to have 2, 3 or more partners and everyone is happy with that, why would you chose to just have one?
Swinging parties are a lot more common than you would think, a quick search on Google and turns out that you can find out about a Swinger party near you pretty much instantly. I also took a look on a couple of dating sites, hit a few buttons, did a search for an “intimate encounter” and there it was – couples who were on the site looking for a third to join them. Or in one case, a girl looking for another girl to “look after” her boyfriend while she went away for work for a few months. She said she would “rather he was with just one girl she knew, than lots of them who she didn’t”. I have to admit that my first thought when I read this was, wow, you really don’t trust him much do you? But then when I thought about it more, if they are both okay with this, and they know that both of them are going to have the sorts of desires that could make them cheat, then why not just address it before it even occurs.
I know that multiple partners in the Western world is controversial and I am certainly not saying that it is for everyone but after reading into it more and looking at the facts that are out there I have to admit – I am torn. I don’t know if I would personally be able to take the plunge and have more than one partner…maybe partly due to always having had an issue with sharing (oldest child syndrome). But who’s to say that I won’t consider it in the future. Lack of sex, or sex with another, as said before – is a dominant reason for couples to get divorced. If I were married and looking to “spice things up”, would it be something that I would consider? I have to say that the more I look into it and think about it, I would have to say, yes.
N.B. There is actually a pretty interesting page on Wikipedia about all of this, but it gets far too academic for me to write about much of it without feeling like I am writing a University essay on here which is really not my style. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Infidelity)
whygirlsarejustsomuchbetter 